Monday, February 28, 2011

And there’s a message that I’m sending out Like a telegraph to your soul

Artist- Johne Waite
Song of the day- Missing you

As my alarm went off at 6am this morning, John Waite abruptly sung me awake from my restless sleep to this song. Now I am pretty confident at this point goodbye songs are just mocking me and slapping me in the face as I've heard 3 of the ones I have and plan on posting already this week! But I find this song to be a great plan of denial for goodbyes. Cuz we all know how well denial works. So next week I plan to poof up my hair, shatter pay phones, and put on my favorite aqua sports coat and single dangle earring to hit the town just to prove how much I ain't missing!



Every time I think of you
I always catch my breath
And I’m still standing here
And you’re miles away
And I'm wondering why you left
And there’s a storm that’s raging
Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name, in certain circles
And it always makes me smile
I spend my time,thinking about you
And it’s almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that’s breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain’t missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you
No matter, what I might say

There’s a message, in the wires
And I’m sending you this signal tonight
You don’t know, how desperate I’ve become
And it looks like I’m losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning
Though Im trying hard to understand
And it's my heart that’s breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain’t missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you
No matter, what my friends say

And there’s a message that I’m sending out
Like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can’t bridge this distance
Stop this heartbreak overload

I ain’t missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you
No matter, what my friends say
I ain’t missing you, I aint missing you
I can lie to myself
And there's a storm that's raging
Through my frozen heart tonight
I aint missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you,
No matter, what my friends say
Aint missing you
I ain’t missing you, I aint missing you
I can lie to myself
I ain’t missing you
I aint missing you

Sunday, February 27, 2011

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time

Artist- Michelle Branch
Song of the day- Goodbye to you

Today as I was frantically rambling off my mental school stress to my sister this song came to mind. It is a bit on the dramatic side but made me think back to wanting to go back to chicago to start nursing school, knowing that I could be free to lose my mind from school stressing, knowing my sis would be there to keep me stable. I clearly know I'm not dramatically losing everything I thought I knew, but perhaps I'm losing a bit of that comfortable stability my crazed mind has grown accustomed to. Look out world, here comes the crazy.



Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake
Your my shooting star

Saturday, February 26, 2011

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

Artist- Phil Collins
Song of the day- Take a look at me now

I don't have enough time or probably blog space to go into my depth of love for phil collins. But know that it is vast. And every time I experience a dramatic turn of events in my life I always secretly hear a phil collins drumbeat interlude and believe no song about goodbyes can quite capture the life changing moment like collins can. Sing it phil, sing it.



How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

Friday, February 25, 2011

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime, Burning clues into this heart of mine.

Artist- Jeff Buckley
Song of the day- Last Goodbye

The song that ignited my passion for Jeff Buckley was the first time I heard today's song. I couldn't wait to seem him live, somehow get him to fall in love with me and force him to sing to me forever. Then I soon discovered he had died a tragic mysterious death and so died my short star crossed dream. Yet even in a badly made 90's video and grunge theme,his ability to feel a song and hit those heart quivering notes still translates. Even though he seems to be initiating the goodbye he somehow convincingly makes me feel sad for him. It's about running through all the reasons you don't want to say goodbye but knowing you should do it. Boo to goodbyes, but always yes to Jeff Buckley goodbyes, swoon.



This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die.
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go:
You gave me more to live for,
More than you'll ever know.

Well, this is our last embrace,
Must I dream and always see your face?
Why can't we overcome this wall?
Baby, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all.

Kiss me, please kiss me,
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation.
Oh, you know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye.

Did you say, "No, this can't happen to me"?
And did you rush to the phone to call?
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying,
"Maybe, you didn't know him at all,
you didn't know him at all,
oh, you didn't know"?

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime,
Burning clues into this heart of mine.
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes, and the memories
Offer signs that it's over, it's over.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I lost a piece of my mind and you can see it on my face my heart is burning this time but there aint no fire escape

Artist-Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
Song of the day: Goodbye Kiss

The realization hit me today that my sister will be moving across the country in one week. There are few people in my life who have shaped me more than my sister and as many times as I literally follow in her foot steps, she can't take a hint and keeps moving away from me...or maybe it's really the stalker in me who can't take the hint. Either way I hate goodbyes more than most things in life and sadly can make a timeline of my life by the times I've had to say goodbye to people I really care about. Such is the price of constantly moving and not living in the same place your whole life I guess. But since I probably won't be able to stop thinking about it all week long, I thought I'd pay tribute to "goodbye songs" as I prepare to say farewell. Today's song is a bit more peppy when it comes to the subject and since I haven't stopped listening to this album since I bought it, it was the first kind of goodbye that came to mind. Got a favorite goodbye song? Send it my way!



Verse 1
I lost a piece of my mind
and you can see it on my face
my heart is burning this time
but there aint no fire escape

Pre chorus
that little part of me that used to be so strong,
is stumbling over now that I know youre moving on baby

Chorus
You were never gonna wait for me
babe I really hate to say it,
but Im gonna say it anyway

You, you know youre not the only one
Id rather just cut and run
than set the blind on yesterday
so lets just call this what it is
and give me one more goodbye kiss

Verse 2
I thought that you were the only one
who could keep my feet on the ground
I came to an empty room
and I know youre leaving town

Pre Chorus
that little part of me, thats gone for good
that was the only thing making me do the things I should

Chorus
and you were never gonna wait for me
babe I really hate to say it,
but Im gonna say it anyway

You, you know youre not the only one
Id rather just cut and run
than set the blind on yesterday
so lets just call this what it is
and give me one more goodbye kiss

Bridge
Ooh you really, really made it hard on me
you really, really were a mystery
you really, really took it out on me baby
but now Ive solved it and Im sad to say I see

Chorus
that you were never gonna wait for me
babe I really hate to say it,
but Im gonna say it anyway

You, you know youre not the only one
Id rather just cut and run
than set the blind on yesterday
so lets just call this what it is
and give me one more goodbye kiss

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

All your diction dripping with disdain Through the pain I always tell the truth

Artist- Vampire Weekend
Song of the day- Oxford Comma

The thing I missed least about being a writer is rewrites. I hate them with a fiery passion of three suns and ignorantly assumed that getting into nursing I could at least avoid rewrites for the rest of my life. Of course deciding to go to grad school came with the fun surprise of research. There was also a reason I majored in fiction writing, to avoid researching and happily making up what I thought was interesting. Alas, I am both forced to currently rewrite and assume making up information would be frowned upon at this level of education. Thus as I begin the horrid process of fixing my own work I realize just how bad at grammar and word play I really am. Which brings to mind this song, which I've been humming as I write. I hate colons and apostrophes and the use of big words to sound smart and commas to break up my run on sentences. I happen to find run on sentences charming and how I talk in a rambling mumble fashion that apparently just doesn't translate to the academic page. To this I say, who really does give a fuck about an oxford comma? Not this lady. Though the song perhaps symbolizes something more I've been thinking about lately. How we can make a big deal about such ridiculous things: how much money we have, what we wear, who we've met, what we know about pop culture, and on, and on. I've been at fault for perhaps all these things and happily define or lie about them to make myself feel better. And why? who give's an f? I'd like to say not this lady, but then what makes up our identity? hmm things I'd like to ponder instead of reworking sentences so they "make sense" to "readers"....what's charming about that?



Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I've seen those English dramas too, they're cruel
So if there's any other way to spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

Why would you speak to me that way?
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too, I did
I met the highest Lama, his accent sounded fine
To me, to me

Check your handbook, it's no trick
Take the chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's to the wall
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

Check your passport, it's no trick
Take the chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's through the wall
Why would you tape my conversations?
Show your paintings at the United Nations
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

Monday, February 21, 2011

It's not that we're scared It's just that it's delicate

Artist- Damien Rice
Song of the day- Delicate

I have to be in a certain mood for Damien Rice, and usually that mood is wanting to be horribly depressed, but sometimes I just want sleepy soft music to lull me to sleep. This mood also includes Damien Rice, till I get to the intense emotional bridges and get too worked up to sleep. But boy does he write a nice bridge. I luv the ability a change in key or a frantic stringed instrument can heighten any feeling. So whether you need a tune to sleep to or a tune to moan to, this one's for you.



We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Who has to say goodbye It’s always say goodbye

Artist- William Fitzsimmons (Pink Ganter Remix)
Song of the day: So this is goodbye

The rainy day is exentuating my sad yet dancy mood. And though I assumed there was no song to express the absurd oxymoron of emotions, some clever sound mixer created this little masterpiece I just stumbled upon. So here's a little rainy day jam for all you oxymoron of emotions out there.



The thing never now, were you
You’re gone and I won’t see you anymore
You left my love on the run
And said that you were leaving
And you won’t come home again (x2)

And I’ll miss you like you’re dead
But I never got to grieve you
Cause I saw you
In the arms of someone else

So your phantom follows me
Like a child would his mother
Or a lover who never said goodbye
It’s only saying goodbye

And I cry myself to sleep
And you thought I was happy
I was lonely
Had nowhere to go

And I heard that you moved on
Found a brand new family
And changed your married name
And everything has changed

And I’ll miss you like you’re dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to
Try and start again

And your ghost will have to leave
Like a child would his mother
Or a lover
Who has to say goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
Goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
It’s always say goodbye
It’s always say goodgoodgood…

Saturday, February 19, 2011

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart

Artist- Florence + The Machine
Song of the day- Cosmic Love

I'm pretty sure I will eventually post the entire first album of Florence and the Machine because each song is so friggin amazing, and I will be forever in debt to my friend Sarah for introducing me to her. Today's song might just be my favorite and most dramatic song on the album. It seems fitting to post as I finally snagged my concert tickets and can best express my joy and love for seeing her perform as cosmic. She has the grand ability to turn any moment epic as I plug my headphones in and let it soundtrack my daily life. And believe you me, my life is opposite of epic so it's nice to snag a little piece of it every once in a while. So if you ever run into me on the train frantically doing air drums, or I run past you dramatically to get to class like I'm running away or towards a zombie apocalypse, just assume this song is playing in my ears.



A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Birds sing for you, You can make the blue sky blush You’ve got them all fooled But I am burned out on this rush.

Artist- Oh Land
Song of the day- Song of a gun

Today's song reminds me of sitting on the floor in my living room in LA with my friend Lisa as I tried to learn keyboard and we would instead play with all the fancy settings my craigslist $50 musical purchase offered and come up with totally awesome ridiculous tunes like guitar set to ocean wave melodies as one of us would bbox and come up with ridiculous lyrics about mustaches and walking to Spaceland. If i wasn't in school I'm pretty sure my day would look a lot like this video. As soon as I get warm weather, free time, and a synthesizer, I might just try it on a rooftop. It also reminds me of how up and down people can be, and how mood swinging I find myself being lately. And how dizzy it can get when one person spins you around, and how even dizzier it gets when you realize it's yourself who won't stop the spinning. If you're going round round round today, this one's for you.



for a less rooftoppy and more dancy version take this for a spin...




Once burned, twice shunned
Too much of your line made me blind.
I’d wait all night
But you left one too many times.

I want to change my orbit
Don’t care what you do now.
I want to live in darkness
Don’t want to be spun around.

You go down, down, down
I fall out of love with you.
Come back round, round, round
You son of a gun.

You go down, down, down.
This time I won’t save you
When you drown, drown, drown
You son of a gun.
You son of a gun.

Birds sing for you,
You can make the blue sky blush
You’ve got them all fooled
But I am burned out on this rush.

I want to change my orbit
Don’t care what you do now.
I want to live in darkness
Don’t want to be spun around.

You go down, down, down
I fall out of love with you.
Come back round, round, round
You son of a gun.

You go low, low, low.
This time I won’t save you
When you go, go, go
You son of a gun.
You son of a gun.

Red sky creepin’
Disappearing
Bye-bye feeling
Heart you’re stealing

You go down, down, down
I fall out of love with you.
Come back round, round, round
You son of a gun.

You go down, down, down.
This time I won’t save you
When you drown, drown, drown
You son of a gun.
You son of a gun.
You son of a gun.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

There will be times, we'll try and give it up, Bursting at the seams, no doubt

Artist- Adele
Song of the day- He won't go

There are many ways I like to celebrate having finished a test and one of my favorites is rewarding myself via a drink to cheers with friends, shopping for the least essential items I can find, or perhaps my most favorite, diving into a night a music catch up. Tonight I found two must see concerts I'm currently booking my tix for all the while jamming out to the new Adele first listen on NPR. Having to dig around, I finally found a link to share my favorite song on the album and discovered this upbeat ditty I had crowned the night's "party song" ended up being a song about a recovering heroin addict, go figure. But the story is quite sweet if you care to take investigative look further below, and I loved the song even more after uncovering the meaning of the lyrics. There's something to be said in choosing to do this completely difficult thing that will turn your life upside down, rip everything you know about yourself to shreds so it can clean you back up to where you should be. Now I'm not saying grad school is like drug rehab, but...;)
The gamble in making decisions you really don't want to do, that is a guarantee to change your life and change who you are is always scary. You can't do it on your own, and if your lucky, you have people by your side when you choose to go, as you choose to go, and are waiting for you when your finished getting to where you need to go.
For all those who won't go, don't wanna go, are going, and have gone, this one's for you


Adele - He Won't Go

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Some say I'll be better without you,
But they don't know you like I do,
Or at least the sides I thought I knew,
I can't bear this time,
It drags on as I lose my mind,
Reminded by things I find,
Like notes and clothes you've left behind,
Wake me up, wake me up when all is done,
I won't rise until this battle's won,
My dignity's become undone,

But I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,
I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,

So petrified, I'm so scared to step into this ride,
What if I lose my heart and fail, declined,
I won't forgive me if I give up trying,
I heard his voice today,
I didn't know a single word he said,
Not one resemblance to the man I met,
Just a vacant broken boy instead,

But I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,
I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I am willing to take the risk,

There will be times, we'll try and give it up,
Bursting at the seams, no doubt,
We'll almost fall apart, then burn to pieces,
So watch them turn to dust,
But nothing will ever taint us,

I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,
I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I am willing to take the risk,

Will he, will he still remember me?
Will he still love me even when he's free?
Or will he go back to the place where he will choose the poison over me?
When we spoke yesterday,
He said to hold my breath and sit and wait,
I'll be home so soon, I won't be late,

He won't go,
He can't do it on his own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
He's willing to take the risk,
So I won't go,
He can't do it on his own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,

'Cause he won't go,
He can't do it on his own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
We're willing to take the risk,
I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

But somehow I'm still alive inside You took my breath, but I survived I don't know how, but I don't even care

Artist- cast of glee
Song of the day- No Air

Now I usually like to avoid too main streamy of things on my blog and I must say this pop song and this show couldn't be more of both but as I have a test on the pulmonary system tomorrow that for whatever reason I'm still not understanding, this song just continually pops into my head and seems the most appropriate to how I'm feeling. Cuz boy do I wish there was a way you could make me understand hyperventilation, it's apparently blowing my mind. So for whatever reason you may not be breathing...heartbreak, separation from your loved one, metabolic acidosis, or hyperventilation due to test freak out, this one's for you.



If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Watch out Cupid Stuck me with a sickness Pull your little arrows out Let me live my life

Artist- Metric
Song of the day- Sick muse

I know a lot of things about life. Some might even say I am pretty wise about a few things. Romantic love is not one of them. And in fact I often find myself quite perplexed about something that can completely change who a person is, sometimes make them go crazy, sometimes make them give up everything, sometimes make them more depressed than words can say, make them jealous, confused, stupid, furious, selfish, blind, lose their mind...and yet perhaps it's the thing everyone wants most in the world? fascinating. There is something about it that makes all the crazy worth it. And though i understand very little on the matter, I have been planning my Valentines song for quite some time now. Perhaps not the most romantic, but quite clever. And I might just take clever over romantic, at least for now. So on this special day I hope you enjoy all the crazy in your life.



Watch out Cupid
Stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life

You better watch out Cupid
Stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life
The one I'd better lead
All the blondes are fantasies

And we looked at them eleven ways
You said, "Look at me". And looked away
And you wrote the song I wanna play
I'll write you harmony in C

Everybody,everybody just wanna fall in love
Everybody,everybody just wanna play the lead

Watch out Cupid
Money is a sick muse
Pull your little arrows out
And let me live my life

She said, "I'm with stupid"
Money is a sick muse
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life
The one I'd better lead
All the blondes are fantasies

And we looked at them eleven ways
You said, "Look at me". And looked away
And you wrote the song I wanna play
I'll write you harmony in C

Everybody,everybody just wanna fall in love
Everybody,everybody just wanna play the lead

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Might as well fall in

Artist- James Blake
Song of the day- The Wilhelm scream

I discovered today's artist last night whilst lurking on facebook pages of friends who have hip taste and as a music writer, my friend kyle tends to have some of the hippest. I'm not a big fan of electronica-ish tunes but tend to really enjoy them when they're slowed down. Finding Blake was like finding a female Sade mixed with a non lame James Blunt. And though one of the things I don't like about said electronica is overly repetitiousness, I seem to mind it less in today's song. It brings this interesting feeling of falling falling deeper into a darkening ocean that gets zapped with emotion when you least expect it. Almost how my restless attempts at sleep go every night. so for those restless souls out there that don't necessarily know whats going on, all that you know is that it is and you might as well go with it. This one's for you.



I don't know about my dreams
I don't know about my dreamin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Might as well fall in.

I don't know about my love.
I don't know about my lovin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Might as well fall in.

I don't know about my dreams.
I don't know about my dreamin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Fallin.

I don't know about my love.
I don't know about my lovin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm lovin, fallin, lovin, lovin.
Might as well love you.

I don't know about my love.
I don't know about my lovin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm turnin, turnin, turnin, turnin,
Might as well turn in.

I don't know about my dreams.
I don't know about my dreamin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Might as well fall in.

I don't know about my love.
I don't know about my lovin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Might as well fall in.

I don't know about my dreams.
I don't know about my dreamin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Fallin.

I don't know about my love.
I don't know about my lovin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm lovin, lovin, lovin, lovin.
Might as well love you.

I don't know about my dreams.
I don't know about my dreamin anymore.
All that I know is
I'm fallin, fallin, fallin, fallin.
Might as well fall in.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

And I have seen The sunrise Over the river The freeway Reminding Of this mess we're in and The city sun sets over me

Artist- PJ Harvey & Thom Yorke
Song of the day- This mess we're in

So I kinda forgot about the most excellent PJ Harvey till I came across her new album in Rolling Stone. I suddenly had flashbacks to my freshmen year of college and my first winter in Chicago. I remember waking up in the bitter cold before the sunrise to catch two trains to downtown and listening to this whole album "stories from the city, stories from the sea" and deciding it was the new soundtrack to my life and the totally artsy writer I was becoming. I would be totally badass like PJ and write stories about the city. Perhaps this is laughable now, but the album still holds the test of time, especially my most favorite song, which I just realized was a duet with Thom Yorke. Oh how non artsy and naive I truly was. But this song will always remind me of how the city stays a little too fast paced, a little too dark, a little too messy and a little too inviting to me. Thankfully I"m a badass who can take it.



Can you hear them?
The helicopters?
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me
In the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday
The evening
The mess we're in and
The city sun sets over me

Night and day
I dream of
Making-love
To you now baby
Love-making
On-screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen
The sunrise
Over the river
The freeway
Reminding
Of this mess we're in and
The city sun sets over me

What were you wanting?
I just want to say
Don't ever change now baby
And thank you
I don't think we will meet again
And you must leave now
Before the sunrise
Above skyscrapers
The sin and
This mess we're in and
The city sun sets over me

Monday, February 7, 2011

I want to hold the hand inside you I want to take a breath that's true

Artist- Mazzy Star
Song of the day- Fade into you

I'm sick again which calls for another round of "favorite songs to listen to whilst sick in bed". Today's song is one of the too many reasons I thought I had a cooler older sister growing up. Also it being her ringtone for about a decade it's hard not to separate her and the song. Besides it being a fantastic tune, and one I love listening to for it's depressing moodiness with a fragile twang, I also probably like the song while I'm sick cuz I connect it with my sister. My mom always told me growing up that I didn't know who my mother was and would always cry to my sister. I do in fact remember an instance when I was around 7 years old of forcing my sister to hold my hand while a doctor stitched up my stomach and another time being bit by a neighbors dog and wailing bloody murder on my parents bathroom counter with a cut open lip till my sister arrived. Sure this is nice, but what is really amazing is that my sister is the biggest wimp when it comes to blood and needles and all things medically gross. I've seen her clearly disgusted face as she reluctantly held my hand and was never silent about the "ewwwwwws" at the sight of me. Sure a part of me might have secretly enjoyed grossing out my sister, but for all of you with siblings out there you know the strange power they have over you for better or worse sometimes. They can make you feel better when nobody else can, they can make you do almost anything for them even if you don't want to, they can piss you off more then anyone when they still your unborn son's name for their cat, and they can perhaps even make being sick less awful. So for all the siblings out there, this one's for you.



I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with what's not there.

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think it's strange you never knew

A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then it's smiles cover your heart

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew
X2

I think it's strange you never knew

Sunday, February 6, 2011

And youre so tired you dont sleep at night As your heart is trying to mend You keep it quiet but you think you might Disappear before the end

Artist- Alexi Murdoch
Song of the day- Song for you

I currently have a mix of emotions because I am elated to have found a new love of my life in Alexi Murdoch only to come to the horrid discovery that his concert this month is already sold out. Like many I first heard of him on the soundtrack to "Away We Go" entirely made up of his music. When I was writing for my friends movie review blog at the time Murdoch's music seemed to be what I couldn't stop talking about. However I ignorantly forgot about him till about ten minutes ago when this song popped up on my pandora. It was as if he had been stalking me (in the more romantic comedy charming way and less the reality creepy way) for the past 3 months and wrote this song just for me. Now perhaps this isn't possible since it was written 3 years ago and you might argue that I am living in a dream world. But it is amazingly creepy (again in the good not realistic bad way) when an entire song speaks every emotion you have that you didn't have words for. Every emotion not seen or you were sure you were hiding well and then some one comes along and just nails it. I like to call it being emotionally punched in the face. And again unlike reality, this form of abuse is sometimes exactly what I need. So for anyone out there who needs an emotional punch in the face, this one's for you.



So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say theres something wrong

So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I dont know even where to start

Maybe thats a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you wont land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway youre not here enough to care

And youre so tired you dont sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And its strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
Youre standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you

Saturday, February 5, 2011

my love is strong And my heart is weak After all

Artist- Delta Spirit
Song of the day Bushwick Blues

Have you ever liked a song because of a single lyric? That's what happened with me and this song. I've currently been obsessed with choruses because I can't seem to write one for the life of me. I find myself writings songs of endless verses and forgotten how to tie it in to one great phrase that's so damn true and catchy, everything else you have written could be crap as long as the chorus is good. And this is a great chorus. Besides making me desperately crave a diner at 1am after seeing this band a bazillion times and possibly co-writing a song about the lead singer's tight pants and cardigan sweaters, Delta Spirit knows how to write catchy, play dancee, screech vocally, and speak deeply without you realizing it. And all that can be encompassed in the chorus. Which may set my new goal of only speaking in poignant choruses. This may be difficult, I may talk even less than I already do, because my love is strong, and my heart is weak, after all.



Hold on to my hand
Never let go
Never let go
We were just two kids acting tough
Then we grew up
Me, not so much

All the other guys that you've seen
are nothing compared to me
Because my love is strong
And my heart is weak
After all

When we first met
We spoke so brief
When you sang a sonnet
I hummed sweet relief
Do you recall that night we took the L
Out into Bushwick
It was colder than hell

So maybe there
We should have stopped
Cause I'm left here feeling like a cop
Because my love is strong
And my heart is weak
After all

To the other side
of the state's return
I met a young girl
Well I couldn't manage her
Because I think of you
In every girl i meet
It's no relief
That sounds to me just as sweet

So maybe I'm the fool for feeling used
By the way we kissed that night i though you knew
Because my love is strong
And my heart is weak
After all

Friday, February 4, 2011

And I…can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but…

Artist- Kate Nash
Song of the day- I hate seagulls

I've realized something in the past couple of weeks that maybe i haven't been able to see so clearly in what feels like a long time. Cuz when you're in a weird blah mood it's easy to focus on all the things you hate and can't work out or figure out. Like seagulls, seriously what is their deal?

I'm blessed. period. And it may be an easy and obvious statement. But I am not an easy and obvious person. I get all the hard questions right and miss the easy ones. I rarely see what's in front of me or listen to what you are saying cuz I'm too busy deconstructing the meaning behind it. But as i was taking a bus and two trains home tonight I thought wow I'm loved and it's nice.

I have a friend who got me a place to live, a friend who gave me a bed to sleep on, a friend who knocks on my door and brings me cupcakes after a hard test, a friend who makes me unknowingly racist videos for my birthday, a friend who calls me more than my mother (which I didn't think was possible), a friend who buys me footy pajamas cuz he knows I'll appreciate them, friends who make me dinner, friends who take me to dinner when they know something is "up", friends who bring me authentic homemade food I'd never cook myself, friends who know my most favorite meal in the world and bring me to it on my birthday, friends who hug me even when i pretend not to want them to, friends who know what action figure to buy me, friends who would deflect a grenade for me, friends who will make faces at me across the room when I'm trying to act serious, friends who are sad when I'm sad, friends who make me a huge delicious cake when they are on a "cleanse", friends who leave me voicemail from 5 states away cuz something funny happened, friends who need me, friends who shovel out my car, friends who just check in to see how it's going, friends who quote Neil Diamond song lyrics to me when they miss me, friends who call me precious and a damn jewel, and friends who draw me pictures that reveal more about me than words.

Someone asked me once how I knew God loved me. And there are so many ways. But usually the clearest and most obvious one is through the people he keeps bringing into my life. I don't think even my degree in writing could form the right words of gratitude. But my mom wanted me to tell you thanks for taking care of me.




I hate seagulls and I hate being sick
I hate burning my finger on the toaster and I hate nits
I hate fallin over
I hate grazing my knee
I hate pickin off the scab a little bit too early
I hate getting toothache
I hate when it’s a pisstake
I hate all the mistakes I make
I hate rude ignorant bastards and I hate snobbery
I hate anyone who if I was serving chips wouldn’t talk to me
But…I…have…a friend…
With whom…I like to spend
Anytime…I…can find…with
I like sleepin in your bed
I like knowin what is goin on inside your head
I like takin time and I like your mind and I like when your hand is in mine
I like getting drunk on the tunes by the beach
I like pickin strawberries
I like cream teas and I like reading ghost…stories
My…heart skips a beat every time that we meet
It’s been a while and now your smile is almost like a memory
But then you’re back and I am fine cos you’re with me
And I’m in love…with you
And I…can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but…
Honestly…you make me strong! I can’t believe I’ve found someone this kind
I hope we carry on
Cos you’re so nice and I’m in love…with you…

Thursday, February 3, 2011

If I was a blade I'd shave you smooth

Artist- Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Song of the day- Paris (Oooh la la)

Have you ever heard a song that you decided you absolutely 100% hated, and then later realized crap never mind it won me over? This happens to me very reluctantly with Katy Perry, but I mostly blame pop culture for convincing me to to like it. Kind of in the same way it convinces me to like vests again, plastic huge glasses, and Natalie Portman movies. Anyway the first time I saw today's video I rolled my eyes and said she was trying too hard. Till I educated myself in some deep Grace Potter soul and realized there's some pipes, talent, a past history of playing concerts in t-shirts and years of funk to back it up. Granted attempts at studio fame might cause one to sleeze it up and make incorrect french translations but I am all for a revival in girl funk-ness. And it may or may not be also caused from my desire to wear flapper dresses in public unironically. Still there's something about the funky guitar riff and wailing vocals that makes everything just more attractive in general. And I usually hate guitar riffs and funk. But sometimes you need a little extra strut in your step, and if you do today, this one's for you.


And if you disagree check out the hotel room acoustic, rock n roll and what I think is the way more awesomer version!



ou got me down on the floor
So what'd you bring me down here for?
You got me down on the floor
So what'd you bring me down here for?

If I a man I'd make my move
If I was a blade I'd shave you smooth
If I a judge I'd break the law
And if I was from Paris
If I was from Paris
I would say
Oooh la la la la lala

You got me up on your swing
So when you gonna shake that thing?
You got me up on your swing
So when you gonna shake that thing?

If I a man I'd make my move
If I was a blade I'd shave you smooth
If I a judge I'd break the law
And if I was from Paris
If I was from Paris
I would say
Oooh la la la la la la

If I a man I'd make my move
If I was a blade I'd shave you smooth
If I a judge I'd break the law
And if I was from Paris
If I was from Paris
I would say
Oooh la la la la la la

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

on a freezing chicago street we shook

Artist- Margot & the Nuclear So and Sos
Song of the day- On a Freezing Chicago Street

Sometimes the appropriate song for the day are the too obvious ones that spell it out for you. Such as today's song. I pretty much couldn't pass up the title itself though the rest of the song is quite depressing and has nothing to do with weather. And it gives me an excuse to play something from one of my fav albums. But do me a favor and for once don't take advice from me or my song of the day. Don't stand outside on a freezing chicago street, don't take too many pills, don't write epic poems to win back lovers...I feel as though all might be a bad idea, but if you must get drunk on cheap red wine in plastic cups I understand. There is only so much you can do during a thunder-snow-storm.



on a freezing chicago street we shook
your hands were trembling from all those pills you took
and we got drunk on cheap red wine in a paper cup

and i was barely awake when you got home
and climbed yourself into bed wearing cheap perfume
and sarah screamed your every breath is a gift
if you weren't so selfish then you might want to live

so if your lover should leave don't get too sad
and don't compose epic poems to win her back
'cause when your bird has flown, she'll never return home
though all your life you'll wait she never will return