Friday, February 4, 2011

And I…can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but…

Artist- Kate Nash
Song of the day- I hate seagulls

I've realized something in the past couple of weeks that maybe i haven't been able to see so clearly in what feels like a long time. Cuz when you're in a weird blah mood it's easy to focus on all the things you hate and can't work out or figure out. Like seagulls, seriously what is their deal?

I'm blessed. period. And it may be an easy and obvious statement. But I am not an easy and obvious person. I get all the hard questions right and miss the easy ones. I rarely see what's in front of me or listen to what you are saying cuz I'm too busy deconstructing the meaning behind it. But as i was taking a bus and two trains home tonight I thought wow I'm loved and it's nice.

I have a friend who got me a place to live, a friend who gave me a bed to sleep on, a friend who knocks on my door and brings me cupcakes after a hard test, a friend who makes me unknowingly racist videos for my birthday, a friend who calls me more than my mother (which I didn't think was possible), a friend who buys me footy pajamas cuz he knows I'll appreciate them, friends who make me dinner, friends who take me to dinner when they know something is "up", friends who bring me authentic homemade food I'd never cook myself, friends who know my most favorite meal in the world and bring me to it on my birthday, friends who hug me even when i pretend not to want them to, friends who know what action figure to buy me, friends who would deflect a grenade for me, friends who will make faces at me across the room when I'm trying to act serious, friends who are sad when I'm sad, friends who make me a huge delicious cake when they are on a "cleanse", friends who leave me voicemail from 5 states away cuz something funny happened, friends who need me, friends who shovel out my car, friends who just check in to see how it's going, friends who quote Neil Diamond song lyrics to me when they miss me, friends who call me precious and a damn jewel, and friends who draw me pictures that reveal more about me than words.

Someone asked me once how I knew God loved me. And there are so many ways. But usually the clearest and most obvious one is through the people he keeps bringing into my life. I don't think even my degree in writing could form the right words of gratitude. But my mom wanted me to tell you thanks for taking care of me.




I hate seagulls and I hate being sick
I hate burning my finger on the toaster and I hate nits
I hate fallin over
I hate grazing my knee
I hate pickin off the scab a little bit too early
I hate getting toothache
I hate when it’s a pisstake
I hate all the mistakes I make
I hate rude ignorant bastards and I hate snobbery
I hate anyone who if I was serving chips wouldn’t talk to me
But…I…have…a friend…
With whom…I like to spend
Anytime…I…can find…with
I like sleepin in your bed
I like knowin what is goin on inside your head
I like takin time and I like your mind and I like when your hand is in mine
I like getting drunk on the tunes by the beach
I like pickin strawberries
I like cream teas and I like reading ghost…stories
My…heart skips a beat every time that we meet
It’s been a while and now your smile is almost like a memory
But then you’re back and I am fine cos you’re with me
And I’m in love…with you
And I…can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but…
Honestly…you make me strong! I can’t believe I’ve found someone this kind
I hope we carry on
Cos you’re so nice and I’m in love…with you…

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