Many times I've gone without a home a meal A pair of shoes, if you had three you'd give me two

Artist- Joshua Radin
Song of the day- Friend like you

so I feel as though I've been through quite alot this week, I've actually felt like a nurse at one point, felt like a vampire coming out only at nights, felt homeless, felt sick to my stomach, felt wronged, felt stupid, felt relieved, felt confused but by the end of the week the most important feeling I've felt is loved. Cuz when shit actually hit the fan I got real people problems I turned my back and wasn't alone, not for a second. And when I look back on this time that is what I will remember and that is what will make me thankful for it. So here's to those hellish weeks and the people who literally pick you up off the ground and get you through them.



I like the way you're not afraid
You got the world planned in your mind
People say you cannot do well
They don't know a friend like you

The girl you love has gone away
Still too young to know her heart
She'll return her love renewed
'Cause she'll never find a friend like you

When I had no one to call
All the world had shut me down
I showed up at your door so blue
Thank god I had a friend like you

Many times I've gone without a home a meal
A pair of shoes, if you had three you'd give me two
There ain't no other friend like you

Been beat up and battered round Been sent up, and Ive been shot down

Artist- Jenny Lewis, Ben Gibbard, Conner Oberst
Song of the day- Handle Me with care

It seems only appropriate I play a Jenny Lewis song to send me to sleep the night before my last test in nursing school. And after this rough and tumbling week and the stress of tomorrows test I can't express how true this anthem is. At times much of nursing school and a lot of this week felt a lot like getting beat up every day till a few weeks till graduation has me hoping that my fragile body can possibly be handled with care. If you are feeling the same this one's for you. And if you care to remember, shoot some major prayers up for me tomorrow cuz I'm in need of major care handling from the man upstairs!



Been beat up and battered round
Been sent up, and Ive been shot down
Youre the best thing that Ive ever found
Handle me with care

Reputations changeable
Situations tolerable
Baby, you're adorable
Handle me with care

(chorus)
Im so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Wont you show me that you really care

(bridge)
Everybodys got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on

Ive been fobbed off, and Ive been fooled
Ive been robbed and ridiculed
In day care centers and night schools
Handle me with care

Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Hand me with care

(chorus)

(bridge)

Ive been uptight and made a mess
But I'll clean it up myself, I guess
Oh, the sweet smell of success
Handle me with care

I turn the music up I'm on a roll this time And heaven is in sight

Artist- Coldplay
Song of the day- Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

Now I've come to realize you either can't stand coldplay or you love them with all your heart. And though I shall always fall under the love them with all my heart category, I was not a fan of this song when I first heard it. I pretty much couldn't get through it when I heard it on the radio, thought Coldplay had lost their mind and was wondering where my ballad soaked with emotion was that both empowers me to run on the treadmill and cry at the same time. Yet, I can tell you the instant I finally "got" this song and was forever reminded why I love Coldplay with all my heart. Better yet, I can show you the instant it happened this summer at Lollapalooza. Now I won't deny that the energy from 1,000's of fans, fancy lasers and fireworks didn't help, but maybe like I came to realize this summer, Coldplay too just needed to dance some things out. And as I am in the midst of wanting to ball up in the corner and cry every other minute, I might just take a tip from Coldplay instead. So if you happen to be in the library in Chicago today, you might pass a closed study room door where I've turned my music up, I've got my records on, I've shut the world outside...and I've decide to dance around about teardrops instead of have them. If you feel the same, come find me in the library, this one's for you.



I turn the music up,
Got my records on
I shut the world outside until the lights come on
Maybe the streets alight,
Maybe the trees are gone
I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song

And all the kids they dance
All the kids all night
Until Monday morning feels another life
I turn the music up
I'm on a roll this time
And heaven is in sight

I turn the music up,
I got my records on
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
Don't want to see another generation drop
I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop

Maybe I'm in the black
Maybe I'm on my knees
Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart

As we saw, oh this light
I swear you emerge blinking into
To tell me it's alright
As we soar walls
Every siren is a symphony
And every tears a waterfall

Is a waterfall
Oh
Is a waterfall
Ooh-oh-oh
Is a waterfall
Every teardrop
Is a waterfall
Ooh-oh-oh

So you can hurt, hurt me bad
But still I'll raise the flag

It was a wa-wa-wa-wa-waterfall
A wa-wa-wa-wa-waterfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall(5x)

And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel

Artist- Kate Nash
Song of the day- Navy Taxi

This song has been haunting me since I first heard it a few weeks ago on my way back from Madison, WI. I can't really explain why at the moment i can relate to this song 100% and think it has something to do with those times in your life where things just keep seeming to get worse and you can't really figure out how to overcome it even when you mean well. But how I've come to find the perhaps even harder part is under all the stress not turning into the worst version of yourself and letting yourself drown in every obstacle in your way. So for all those obstacles in your way, this one's for you. Take your time love cuz it's your life and it's no one else's.



Rain spat in my face, thanks a lot mate
And I lost a tenner on the way
Thinking about it, did I spend it last night
When I was drunk and I wanted to get more drunk

Missed the train, thanks a lot mate
I didn't want to be late today, cause I'm always late
And I really hate always being late
And now the other train's delayed... great.

Carrying bags and a navy taxi man said
"Take your time love
'Cause you don't have to rush
'Cause it's your life and it's no one else's, sweetheart
Don't let someone put you in a box."

So I take all that other stuff that I said before
And I'm gonna make it work
'Cause I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall

So I tried to help you carry your shopping
But I wasn't concentrating, I was talking
And I got it caught on the side of this thing and it split
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
And I'd try to help you walk along but I'd probably end up pushing you over
But don't worry, I'll never let you fall

And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out
And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel

And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out
And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel

Carrying bags and a navy taxi man said
"Take your time love
'Cause you don't have to rush
'Cause it's your life and it's no one else's, sweetheart.
Don't let someone put you in a box."

So I take all that other stuff that I said before
And I'm gonna make it work
Because I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall
And this time, it will be different,
This time, it will be different (x9)

And the lights will draw you in And the dark will take you down

Artist- Ryan Adams
Song of the day- Lucky Now

Attempting to transition my body to work night shifts seemed like an easy process with my history of insomnia. Though I'm realizing that my past late nights have not prepared me at all for being productive during a time when the rest of the population is sleeping. Ever since I was young I found the late nights and wee hours of the morning to be the most magical time of day. I'm not quite sure why, though I suppose having a forced bedtime at 8yrs old and watching movies with young people going on grand adventures while I slept probably had something to do with it. But that feeling always stuck with me, I loved waking up at 3am to go on family road trips, I love having deep conversations with people when you should be in bed because for some reason people become less guarded, I love leaving a concert as the city calms down for the night and it feels like anything is possible in it...however these times of grandeur are far between and I spend most of my restless nights awake in bed in the dark over contemplating every aspect of myself and my life till my heart is so heavy and my head so full I beg for sleep to come or something to distract me.

And what I've realized in the past few days is that distraction does not include any form of productivity. I can't seem to study or work at anything that involves part of my brain not busy with self indulgence. I apparently only know how to lay awake in bed all night long and not put my insomnia to actual use. So hopefully that can change by tomorrow night and maybe I have found my grandiose life of night living with the graveyard shift....more likely I'm assuming that won't be the case, but for all you nocturnal worker bees, this one's for you.



I don’t remember were we wild and young
All that faded into memory
I feel like somebody I don’t know
Are we really who we used to be
Am I really who I was

The lights will draw you in
And the dark will bring you down
And the night will break your heart
But only if you’re lucky now

Waiting outside while you find your keys
Like bags of trash in the blackening snow
City of neon and toes that freeze
We’ve got nothing and nowhere to go
We’ve got nothing and nowhere

And the lights will draw you in
And the dark will take you down
The night will break your heart
But only if you’re lucky now

And if the lights draw you in
And the dark can take you down
And love can mend your heart
But only if you’re lucky now

I don’t remember were we wild and young
All that’s faded into memory
I feel like somebody I don't know
Are we really who we used to be
Am I really who I was

When I am alone When I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone When I've lost all care for the things I own That's when I miss yo

Artist- Alexi Murdoch
Song of the day- Orange sky

After hearing about the crazy dust storm going on in my hometown I wanted to find a song to match it so i could talk about it. i found myself once again drawn to Alexi Murdoch and a song that I didn't expect to fit but ended up being kind of perfect. Cuz again it selfishly matches how I feel and has the kind of melody I think my brain meloncholly stays at unconsciously. But there's something about the song that reminds me of home and reminds me of how too that we go about our daily lives completely unaware of the world around us until you see something like this and realize just how big and powerful the world really is. How small and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. I'm making it sound like a bad thing but it's really quite needed and humbling. To know cuz i forget, that I'm not in charge or responsible for every single thing, i'm not the center of the universe, i'm not in control. it's kinda scary and kinda nice. To know my salvation doesn't lie with me cuz I'm pretty small and powerless against some things so vast. If you're feeling a wee bit small today, embrace it with me. This one's for you and the west texas Haboob...man i hate that word.



Well I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
Yes I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother standing by
With my brother standing by
I said brother, you know you know
It's a long road we've been walking on
Brother you know it is, you know it is
Such a long road we've been walking on

And I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my sister standing by
With my sister standing by
I said sister, here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

But sister you know I'm so weary
And you know sister
My hearts been broken
Sometimes, sometimes
My mind is too strong to carry on
Too strong to carry on

When I am alone
When I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone
When I've lost all care for the things I own
That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's when I miss you
You who are my home
You who are my home
And here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

Well I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
Yes I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by

By the way all my body really needs Is a spirited soul for the pain to ease

Artist- The Lonely Forest
Song of the day- (I Am) the love addict

So I was going to play a different Lonely Forest song that is far more angsty and how I feel at the moment barely having a moment the breath with impending graduation, 12 hour hospital shifts, tests that can stop me from graduating and the all impending doom of trying to find a job, having a career and being a grown up. This has been taking up most of my time as you can tell by the lack of song posts that will probably be sporadic throughout my new sporadic schedule the next few weeks.

But as I took a tiny break to go see them live with a few friends, I could feel just the tiny bit of relief during their set and especially during this song. 1) because live music just makes me enjoy life more 2) If my philosophy on life had a theme song I think today's song would be it. I have no idea of the band's background but I find many of their lyrics highlight my beliefs system and if I could somehow articulate in a poppy rock song how I see my life being lived out as a Christian, it'd be this. plain and simple. And when I'm actually able to let go of all this stress and worry and guilt and fear about myself and really live in this belief of being addicted to love, the all encompassing agape kind of love for everything in our path...when I can I live in that, the type of feeling I feel is the kind this song gives me when I hear this song: happiness, optimism, no fear, a mission, the desire for other people to feel that way cuz it's freeing and makes me wanna go love on people and remember that in the end that's what this is all about not the other stuff. And when I hear this song I remember that and smile instead of worry. And if you're like me, right now I'd rather smile than worry.



When I thought I had nothing
Nothing good to give.
You appeared, won my heart
And Showed me I must die to live
Take my pride
Please remove these selfish thoughts
Save me from the world,
I wanna be addicted to love
I wanna be addicted to love
I wanna be addicted to Love (oh oh oh oh)
By the way all my body really needs
Is a spirited soul for the pain to ease
But I know that this road, it isn’t going to bring me peace
Give me something new For my soul to use
Something beautiful for my heart to abuse
The drugs are never enough
I wanna be addicted to love
I wanna be addicted to love
I wanna be addicted
And why are we so, Love-less?
I’m worried, please hurry
And why are we so love-less?
I’m worried, please take me home
I wanna be addicted to love
I wanna be addicted to love (I want to be) X8
I want to be addicted to love (oh oh oh)

And if you feel the failing of the light And you’re too weak to carry on the fight

Artist- James Morrison
Song of the day- I won't let you go

I've always seemed to avoid James Morrison somehow, I think cuz I'd always see his name when looking up Van Morrison and or think he was Chris Martin then realize he wasn't. But being confused for two fantastic musicians is no reason to avoid this one, in fact should have made me seek him out sooner because of the random similarities of awesome. But I started listening to him a bit more after my friend told me she was using his song as her first wedding dance. And I'm realizing more and more that hey the boy can ride a good love song. But it wasn't just about the song itself that made me pick today's song. There was something about the video, minus soft lighting and need to sing all over someone's face to feel emotion. It was about someone hurting, mentally, physically, emotionally, we don't know and it kind of doesn't even matter how. But the way this pain is dealt with the way they won't let go is not what you expect but is kind of perfect. It reminds me of my favorite movie, "Lars and the Real Girl" how this guys pain manifested in something odd isn't shunned or tried to be convinced out of him, but they go with him on the journey, they sit with him, they believe with him, they in a sense lay in the middle of the road with him. I think sometimes the most powerful way to "help" someone during a hard situation isn't trying to fix it, but the lay there with them through it. There's something kind of perfect about it. So if you're in need of someone to not let you go, this one's for you.



When it’s black,
Take a little time to hold yourself,
Take a little time to feel around,
Before it’s gone
You won’t let go, but you still keep on falling down.
Remember how you saved me now,
From all of my wrongs.
And if there’s love just feel it,
And if there’s life we’ll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah
I won’t let you go

Say those words, say those words like there’s nothing left.
Close your eyes and you might begin that there is some way out
Open up, open up your heart to me now
Let it all come pouring out,
There’s nothing I can’t take

And if there’s love just feel it,
And if there’s life we’ll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah
I won’t let you go
(Won’t let you go, won’t let you go)
And if your sky falling,
Just take my hand and hold it
You don’t have to be alone, alone, yeah
I won’t let you go

(Won’t let you go, won’t let you go)

And if you feel the failing of the light
And you’re too weak to carry on the fight
And all your friends that you care for have disappeared
I’ll be here now darling, forever, holding on
Woah

And if there’s love just feel it,
And if there’s life we’ll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone, yeah
I won’t let you go

(Won’t let you go, won’t let you go)
Woah no

And if your sky falling,
Just take my hand and hold it
You don’t have to be alone, alone, yeah
I won’t let you go

(Won’t let you go, won’t let you go)
Woah no, yeah

I won’t let you go, no I wont let,
I won’t let you go, no I wont let,
I won’t let you go, no I wont let you g

But now it's like the night is taking sides With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind

Artist- City and Colour
Song of the day- Sleeping sickness

I've become quite OCD about listening to City and Colour at least once a day. I don't know if it helps or hurts my study habits but I like to think his voice and soothing melodies keeps me a bit emotionally stable and that the fact he is covered in tattoos keeps me a bit bad ass at the same time. It really is the perfect combination. This song especially perfection mostly because I basically can't escape this exact feeling and perhaps I think if i played it over enough times I'll finally feel rested. But beginning 12 hour shifts including nights i think perhaps this might not be the case. So I'll just keep playing it to keep getting me through the day. If you're needed some rest today, this one's for you.



I awoke only to find my lungs empty,
And through the night, so it seems I'm not breathing.
And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be,
And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down.

And I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me,
Such as living with the uncertainty
That I'll never find the words to say which would completely explain
Just how I'm breaking down

Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead,
But now it's like the night is taking sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be this misery will suffice?

I've become a simple souvenir of someone's kill
And like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill
Madness fills my heart and soul, as if the great divide could swallow me whole
Oh, how I'm breaking down

Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead,
But now it's like the night is taking up sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be this misery will suffice.

Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Could it be this misery will suffice.

But at least when you're at your worst, you'll know how to feel things.

Artist- Adele
Song of the day- Right as rain

so i was recently told that my taste in music has an abnormally heavy variety of female artists. And though i was at first offended I realized this year it is true. And is mostly due to the fact that this year female artists are rising higher and pushing more barriers and frankly are making the fantastic music i want to listen to. They are also winning the majority of music awards and the ones breaking records mostly thanks to my reluctant love, Katy Perry. And who I think has the best album this year, Adele. And though I had planned to try hard to post a male artist today, the news of Adele having to cancel all U.S. touring or risk losing that amazing voice for good, I felt it only appropriate to want to listen to her today. Plus I got reprimanded by a guy in the library as this song popped up on my pandora and I was unknowingly jamming way too hard through my headphones to it for his liking. But I couldn't help it, it's my jam. Cuz sadly though when i say all i want is for things to go right and be happy and lalala...I think i secretly like it when things aren't right as rain. I may like feeling right but i don't like when someone is then wrong and they feel bad, or i like when things aren't going great and people need my help or i can say something to make them feel better (that feels nice), i love and hate my keen ability to see why a relationship won't work out so I can avoid it all together, i don't wanna be on top of the world cuz the only place to go is down. this might make zero sense but I never said I was rational, and like I said I don't have to be right about it...if you aren't right as rain either, this one's for you.


Who wants to be right as rain, it's better when something is wrong.
You get excitement in your bones and everything you do is a game.
When night comes and your on your own you can say I chose to be alone.
Who wants to be right as rain, it's harder when you're on top.

'Cause when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired,
There ain't no room in my bed, as far as I'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile of, We
won't be making up, I've cried my heart out
and now I've had enough of love.

Who wants to be riding high when you'll just crumble back on down.
You give up everything you are and even then you don't get far.
They make believe that everything is exactly what it seems.
But at least when you're at your worst, you'll know how to feel things.

'Cause when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired,
There ain't no room in my bed, as far as I'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile of, We
won't be making up, I've cried my heart out
and now I've had enough of love.

Go ahead and steal my heart to make me cry again,
'cause it will never hurt as much it did then,
when we were both right and no one had blame,
but now I give up on this endless game.

'Cause who wants to be right as rain, it's better when something is wrong.
I get excitement in my bones, even though everything's a strain.
When night comes and I'm on my own, you should know I chose to be alone.
Who wants to be right as rain, it's harder when you're on top.

'Cause when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired,
There ain't no room in my bed, as far as I'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile of, We
won't be making up, I've cried my heart out
and now I've had enough of love. (2x)

Out of chaos, life is being found in You

Artist- Gungor
Song of the day- Beautiful things

I've had one of those days where the light seems harder to see and everything I think i have answers for I'm left speechless. I saw a harder side of caring for the sick in death, in mourning in those pleading to die, those questioning beliefs and i begin to forget what it's all for. And somewhere in the middle this song found me again. and there's something about it that let me breath out again. That there's something worth hoping for, that out of the dirt something beautiful can be made. That amoungst the bad I've gotten to see the good, amoungst the hopeless I've gotten to see miracles that every life you pass by while you're living can be those little miracles if you let them and how maybe we can be miracles too despite our own dust. It's a beautiful thing. If you're looking for something beautiful, this one's for you.



All this pain..
I wonder if I'll ever find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change, at all.
All this earth..
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground, at all?

[chorus:]
You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of us.

[verse 2:]
All around,
Hope is springin up from this old ground.
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.

[chorus:] 2x

[bridge:]
You make me new,
You are making me new.
You make me new,
You are making me new. (making me new.)

[bridge & chorus together]3x

[chorus]

[bridge]2x

What comes is better than what came before

Artist- Cat Power
Song of the day- I found a reason

I've been obsessed with this song since I heard it on "V for Vendetta" and am usually blown away by Cat Power in general but I just listened to the original version of today's song by the Velvet Underground and I couldn't believe it. Power somehow managed to make a completely original song out of this cover and total change the feel of it using the same wording. There's something so beautiful, so spiritual about the version and yet somehow still heartbreaking. It's that longing mixed with hope but sung like you sadly already know how it will end. And I have no idea how can articulate so much in so simple a tune. But when I'm in a static state longing to feel something I know I'll find it in Cat Power, and can't seem to escape it in this song. If you're longing for some longing, this one's for you.



Oh I do believe
In all the things you see
What comes is better than what came before
And you'd better come come, come come to me
Better come come, come come to me
Better run, run run, run run to me
Better come

Oh I do believe
In all the things you see
What comes is better than what came before

And you'd better run run, run run to me
Better run, run run, run run to me
Better come, come come, come come to me
You'd better run