Artist- First Aid Kit
Song of the day- Hard believer
So today I had to speak in class about my worldview. 15 years of private school, 5 months in missions, and 6 years of writing luckily prepared me for the only thing I've known what I'm talking about since nursing school started. Knowing exactly what I think is true about life and how I see it always felt like the most important thing I could do. How did I know my christianity didn't come from my southern culture or my parents? How was I supposed to figure out if working towards my own dreams and comfort or feeling out of my comfort zone at all times but getting to help other people was more important to me? To try and take the world on on my own or have faith in something that people might think I'm insane for believing exists? To me I couldn't move forward in life till I figured this out...not that I'm at all close to completely understanding anything or having doubts 80% of the time, I'm human.
Maybe it's because I've had to live my life in constant defense of my beliefs, of being different, or of not being compared to jerks who share my religious title but hurt so many people around me. But I was surprised or maybe surprised that I was surprised that some people who might not have religion to explain themselves couldn't find words for their worldviews. They walk through life, they make choices often the same ones I make but maybe don't have my fancy theological words to express themselves. Maybe that's why theory is important? I don't know. But what was even more interesting or frustrating is how ridiculed they felt for not knowing. And how desperate I was to want to help them explain it. But I couldn't. I realized that when god's not the answer I don't know what the answer is. That's my own comfort I guess, but it also spurred a curiosity to know people more, deeper, who don't have my answers, to get them to want to know themselves deeper. Cuz what I see in these people is so much beauty and power and love but none of that matters when someone can break that confidence by questioning these wondrous things in yourself that you don't have words for yet. I woke up with this song in my head and though I don’t necessarily agree with what it says and is a bit offensive to my own beliefs at times, it’s honest and pure and I totally get where it’s coming from. Whatever you believe or don't believe or don't know what you believe yet take comfort in knowing we’re all just trying to figure it out. It’s one life and it’s this life and it’s beautiful.
So you ask for my opinion
Well what is there to say
To be honest and just foolish
Won't make you wanna stay
You've got to go on and get moving
I can't do that for you
Got so many plans and so much you want to do
Love is tough, time is rough
Love is tough, time is rough
Whoaaaa on me
Well I see you've got your bible
Your delusion imagery
Well I don't need your eternity
Or your meaning to feel free
I just live because I love to
And that's enough you see
So don't come preach about morality
lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com
That's just human sense to me
Love is tough, time is rough
Love is tough, time is rough
Whoaaaa on me
On me-eeee .. on me-eee ...
And it's one life and it's this life
And it's beautiful
(repeat)
And it's beau .. beau .. beau ... beautiful
Love is tough, time is rough
Whoaaaa on me
Read more: http://lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com/2009/10/first-aid-kit-hard-believer-lyrics.html#ixzz10RbYTOfV
Firs things first: I read every single word, twice.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most powerful pieces of work I've ever read. I am honestly, officially upset that I'm not in this class with you. I remember last summer when you told me to take theory with you, because I was your "other religious beacon." Even though we share different ideologies, the message about life, living, and relationships is fundamentally similar. It sounds like your class discusses some deep issues; unfortunately, my class doesn't, and I settled for an easier A and and one extra day off per week, instead of backing you up and having some substantial, rich content. Next time a theory class comes along, remind me to sign up with you.
"Maybe it's because I've had to live my life... not being compared to jerks who share my religious title but hurt so many people around me." There are people who simply use religion for their own personal gain, such as extremist Muslims who've hurt so many people around me; and others like you who use religion to make themselves and their peers genuinely better people.
It's funny, I've heard SO MANY complaints about your class disliking Tagan, and at first I was thinking, "Yep, they shoulda taken Amer." But after reading this, it does make perfect sense why so many people are frustrated, and you said it! "They can't find the words to describe it."
"I realized that when god's not the answer I don't know what the answer is." It's not that God's not the solution, it's whether or not people are willing to allow God to be the solution.
I'd love to hear what your world view is some time; I feel like I have some idea, but I don't think you've ever told me. In the meantime, remember that you don't have to defend your beliefs nor do you have to defend being different. It's what makes you who you are, and it's what makes you so likable. It's why I'm sitting here at 12:45am writing this long post when I know we're meeting in the library in less than nine hours.
You're a good Christian, you're a good person, and you're a good friend with an exceptional world view, because you've seen it, and you will see it again in less than 90 days.
Keep doing what you do.